Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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