K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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