so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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