My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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