Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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