I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
