Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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