This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
