I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
