By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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