I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
