Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize