what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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