no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
