did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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