Do vagina's smell?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
