I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
