yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
