i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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