I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
