WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
