He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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