dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
