hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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