is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
