we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
