do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
