i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
