i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
