Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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