Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
