I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you made out with another girl for some wings
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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