So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
