Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
