I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
