Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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