just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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