i think i have herpe
just one?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
