I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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