there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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