I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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