I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
