She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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