So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
