ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
