I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
