in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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