6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
