it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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