South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize