Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It's Friday. Sex?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
