Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
