He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize