So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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