Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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