break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize