he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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