Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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