You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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