i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
worst night to have a conscience
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
