Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I deserve this hangover.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
