Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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