and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize