Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize