Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
a search helicopter?!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
BRING THE BAGELS
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
