Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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