just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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