THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
