My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
