Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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