none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
